Are you the person that expects others to earn your trust? Or are you the leader that trusts the team you are part of? Do you display the trust in yourself that rightfully deserve?
Settling is a word you have to remove from your vocabulary. Your life is priceless. Your life adds up to what you settle for. Dream BIG, Play BIG and live your life to the fullest.
Today is my Mom’s 77th birthday. This event makes me contemplate the longevity of a life and the privilege that I have to have my mother and father in my life. We often associate old age with a conclusiveness, everything comes to a finale, nothing more to accomplish. This cannot be further from the truth. Our age has no incidence on what can be accomplished. Even if being happy every day of our life is our only priority, we all have time to accomplish what we want.
As I look back on my journey through life, a lot has been achieved in a short period of time. As an example, the last 10 years have seen my life completely changed. The last 5 were even more of a transition. The more I focus my attention on the present moment, the more harmonious my life is. I can only imagine when I am 77, how my life will become and what continuation of my journey will be presented to me. Discovering what the following years will reveal to me.
I am proud to be a part of your journey Mom and Dad. Today is a wonderful day, you are in my life!
Emotions are part of human nature. They are the manifestations of our reactions and feelings about something. Emotions provide information about what we are experiencing at the moment. They help others understand and choose how to react to our inner turmoil.
I often get comments that I am an emotional person, tell me something I don’t already know. Emotional people are viewed as difficult, unruly, rule breakers, lonely, edgy, and looking for trouble. Driven individuals often get tagged with these adjectives.
This voice showed an emotion so new and so deep that the jaded soul of the Master of Requests was shaken — Honoré de Balzac
I have no excuses … yes to all of these and more.
But here are few things you need to understand about emotions:
- There is no bad or good emotion, only a bad or good way to express it.
- Emotions come and go. We feel a lot of emotions as the day goes by. Some of them last only for a few moments, while other emotions linger and become a mood.
- The intensity of emotions depends on the situation we face or the person who triggers us.
- Emotions are used by others to fuel their unfounded perception of you.
Are you an emotional person?
Society loves to have labels on everyone, it’s supposedly better to identify us all and better deal with us unruly kind. It’s the only way to try to box us up, to put us in a cage, to categorize us, for the comfort of everyone else.
But being emotional is not a bad thing. It means that I am human. I am allowed to be happy, sad, exhilarated, irritated, or angry. Emotions are part of being our authentic self, who we are as a person. An emotional person is someone who demonstrates strong states of feelings or passionate about something.
Emotional people are usually sensitive ones. We are easily triggered by little things that spark positive or negative reactions. We view things a bit differently and deeper. Moreover, we use our emotions to push us forward and follow our dreams.
If you are feeling extra sensitive over something, it is because your emotions are running high. Some people are also more sensitive and process the world around them more deeply. Pretending that you do not feel anything and avoiding negative emotions is unhealthy.
Suppressing our emotions for the good of others or to conform, is another way of giving in to the status quo and conformity. Emotions are healthy as long as they don’t run away out of our control.
Emotions are the fuel for a successful and driven person. Some wear their emotions on the surface without shame, others have them inside. Nevertheless, they manifest themselves. Emotions trigger a chemical reaction that alerts you that something is incorrect, maybe there is a better way, or you have reached your target.
Being emotional is not synonymous with being a drama queen or king. Yes, sometimes you act emotionally before thinking logically. It is also a fact that some people process emotions and events differently.
Emotions’ best friend is reason. They must coexist for a healthy life. Emotions are the fuel and reason is steering the car. Yes, occasionally high-octane fuel (emotions) gets into the gas tank. As long as reason has two hands on the steering wheel, everything will be fine.
Emotions are healthy as long as they don’t run away out of your control. Unless your emotions interfere with your day-to-day life, you are okay. This is why it is important to figure out how to use your emotions to face and overcome situations.
Managing your emotions and making them work for you are beneficial. Unlocking and discovering the deeper meaning will make us more emotionally intelligent.
What triggers emotions?
Major changes and big events trigger stress and can cause nerve-breaking emotions. Any shakeup to your normal routine affects your emotional health or well-being.
These can include
- having a baby
- moving to a new location or home
- job loss
- getting a new job
Stress makes a lot of people feel more emotional. If you are experiencing chronic stress, it is possible that your emotions are constantly running over the top.
Anxiety and Depression
When you are anxious, emotions like fear, irritability, doubt, and apprehension are extremely heightened. Your body tends to go into a fight-or-flight mode. If your anxiety is beginning to disrupt your normal daily life, it is a sign that you are experiencing anxiety disorder and manifesting extreme emotions.
Depression, on the other hand, is defined as a mood disorder. Depressed people experience a higher or deeper level of hopelessness, emptiness, and other negative emotions.
Feeling extra emotional sometimes are caused by sleep deprivation, diet and lack of exercise.
- Sleep deprivation—lack of sleep affects your emotional well-being by triggering a lack of rational thinking and concentrating.
- Lack of exercise-physical activities influences your emotions and mood.
- Diet—unhealthy diet increases your level of distress and stress
- Build emotional awareness. Make it a daily habit to tune in to what you feel in various situations. Notice how you feel about someone or something. Mentally name the emotion you feel. Observe how your emotions change throughout the day. Do not dwell on every emotion you feel.
Effective ways to handle your emotions
It’s true that sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge or accept what we feel. For instance, when we are jealous, hurt, or angry, we try not to show or talk about it to avoid unpleasant arguments. However, burying the emotion inside can backfire and affect our emotional health.
What to do?
- Put your feelings into words. Share and talk about it with people close to you—parent, best friends, loved one, or coach.
- Give yourself time to calm down before reacting—This gives you time to process your strong emotion at the moment. If you are really angry or stressed out, walking away for a minute will help you clear your overwhelmed mind.
- Accept what you are feeling right now—Instead of wasting your energy blaming yourself or others, accept the emotion, and choose the best way to react.
- Do not stay stuck in your current emotion—Understand that you can change how you think, feel, behave, and react.
- Choose to do something that makes you feel better—Get out of your bad mood. Find meaningful ways to displace your emotions.
- Deal with uncomfortable situations and emotions—Learning to handle them builds your confidence and inner strength.
- Claim your power over your emotions—Do not allow others to influence what you feel. They may or may not intentionally influence your feelings, but you are the only person who is in charge of them.
- Stop apologizing for being emotional—Instead, use your sensitivity and being emotional for becoming more passionate about your goals and connected to other people.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are because of comments from others regarding your emotions. We all have emotions, whether we try to suppress them or, accepting them as fuel, we all have them. The choice isn’t difficult. If you are driven, you’re already using your emotions in a positive and fulfilling way. If you are not, then the choice is yours and no one else. Don’t let your peers or society choose for you!
Words are powerful. They can shape and influence your perceptions, pushing you into a different direction that is not your liking. The power of words arises from the emotional responses that you manifest when you hear, speak, or read them. They can even trigger energetic reactions that can alter your life positively or negatively.
How many times do you cut yourself short by saying “I could do it but,” “I would do it but,” or “I should do it but.”
Should, would, and could, are the words that deter you from reaching any desired lifestyle. These simple words go unnoticed and have a deep cutting impact on our lives.
The Scary Power of Words
Internal dialogue is normal for most of us. We use powerful and motivating words to prep ourselves against what life throws to us. However, the language or the words you use have a profound impact on how you make decisions, show up to the world or live your life.
Your choice of language can limit, disempower, and weaken you on the inside. Could, would, should, never, but, need, and try are some of the limiting words that need to be deleted from your vocabulary. You may not notice it but using them in your everyday communication narrows your choices, possibilities, and options.
When you use “should,” it implies that there is a right or wrong way to do something and you are unsure of what to follow. Using should, sends a message that you are not in control or you do not want to do something. Oftentimes, it means that you are not capable or worthwhile. The word signifies your lack of acceptance. It is disempowering.
Should I stop drinking so much or, I am stopping to drink so much. Even if these two sentences seem to convey the same message, one is in the hypothetical realm and the second in concrete actions. Phrase 1 or 2 will generate change?
To gain back control, replace “should” with a word or phrase that shows that you got it covered like “I am.” My example above is a simple display of how a simple word can define your choices and decisions. By using a positive statement that has an empowering word, you are taking full ownership of your action and reinforcing your freedom.
Using “could” weakens your image, setting yourself up to fail because you lack the power to do something. It may also mean that you are giving up even before trying. This term implies a lack of self-control, helplessness, or low self-esteem. “Could” also blocks your creativity, increase your stress level, or steal your ability to solve problems objectively.
I could start exercising more or I am starting an exercise schedule today. What will bring you the best health benefits? You wait for your body to force you to start or worst, disease will.
Instead of “could,” choose to make a commitment and use “I am.” It signifies a preference or choice to do something significant and positive. You are now asserting your self-control and it boosts your confidence to do the right or better option.
Using “would” imply that you believe you can but changed your mind and did the opposite or did nothing because you were unsure. It also implies that you have taken a decision that you regret making. It is such a disempowering term that displays not-so-smart choices in life.
My life would be better if my mindset were more positive. My stress level would be lower, and I would accomplish more in my day.
Rather than wallowing in what happened because of a bad decision that makes your life a bit heavy, disempower the word by setting positive intentions that will change your life. Stop the habit of using should, would, and could in a negative context. You can reframe them or discard them from your daily statements. Stop repeating them again and again.
These words in no way foresee any positive outcome. The words hang in time like the wind blowing in any direction. I am accomplishing more in my day with less stress and a positive mindset. The effort required to change is as simple as replacing a few words in a sentence.
Use your words to shape your life remarkably and beautifully. Let them empower you and help you manifest the life you want for yourself. Let the energy of your words motivate you instead of keeping you in your comfort zone.
What to do?
Words are powerful tools to improve your life and personal energy. Harness their power by consciously picking the right and positive words that will benefit you.
Stop self-criticism or name-calling
Be kind to yourself. Stop calling yourself a failure, a mess, or a loser. Do not keep repeating self-condemning statements that use could, should, and would. Give yourself the same compassion and empathy that you give to others.
If you are fond of making a joke of your accomplishments or your body, stop. Words have quantum energy and power to define your beliefs and perceptions. You should be the first one to celebrate your life and achievements. Do not compete or compare yourself with others.
Practice a “negativity” diet
Instead of saying that you should, you could, you would, why not reframe them into something that will make you take positive action. I am
Surround yourself with uplifting words
Affirmations will help you become more positive. Say something wonderful about yourself. Accept the compliments of other people. Wear clothes that convey a positive phrase or message. Let these words generate a positive vibe around you.
Boost the energy of positive words
Get rid of negative words. Stop saying negative statements. Ramp up your positive energy by using words that imply positivity like terrific, fantastic, great, wonderful, and so on.
Commit to living a positive life
Commitment is empowering. If you decide to get rid of the disempowering terms from the statements you say, you need to replace them with positive ones. Quitting is not an option. Do not be afraid to make choices.
- Be mindful of what you say. You need to be present and catch yourself when you begin using disempowering words. Do not blame or shame yourself. Simply change the context of your statement to create a positive message.
- Practice. As the cliché goes, “Practice makes everything perfect.” So, keep up the effort consistently. Make a habit of reciting positive affirmations. Every time you use empowering words, congratulate yourself.
- Shift your attention. Identifying the disempowering words and omitting them is necessary. Focus your attention on empowering words that will help you gain control of your life, make better choices, reframe your perspectives, or understand situations.
- Focus on the benefits. An empowering language will make you more accepting, passionate, confident, healthier, and smarter. It takes time to see great results, but consciously choosing your words will bring more positive benefits to your life.
Challenge yourself to speak from a place of control and choice. Use words that will empower your decisions, choices, and life in general. Consciously omit negative words that imply negativity. As you practice this choice, you are opening a great opportunity that broadens your influence and builds a lot of possibilities. Lastly, reframe your reality by speaking with powerful words that bring out the best in yourself as well as others.
I am grateful to be born with the will to succeed inside me. Yes, I am a believer, a doer, and a go-getter. It is in my being, a silent power that defines my life. Since I was young, my desire to succeed was always present. I am an achiever, winning in areas where my passion and interest lies. I grew up knowing that I thrive on accomplishment and being successful. My burning desire to succeed makes me excited to face each day and embrace the challenges, including the usual routine that is necessary to go forward in life. I will never let that fire burn out. I am ready and willing to open more doors of opportunities to reach all my goals and live the life I want. And while working for them to manifest, I am enjoying my present life and celebrating my small “wins.”
How to succeed?
Not all people have a burning desire to successfully reach the zenith. Only a few reach the top, which means, there are many slots for winners. We can be another Jack Ma, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, or anyone whom we look up to. All these people have one thing in common—grit to succeed. They are creators, they are builders, they are born with the will to succeed.
Be clear about your intentions.
Knowing what you want clears the way and helps you prepare for what’s ahead. You need to know what matters most and develop goals around them. People without clear goals are easily distracted. Goals are like guideposts that help you keep your eyes on the main events in your future life. You have to boldly choose your destiny. For all its worth, intentions are powerful motivators that beckon you to succeed. Connect to your purpose and vision. Use them to fuel your desire to become a better person, employee, boss, parent, friend, or entrepreneur. Your purpose and intentions should be strong enough to sustain you during the ups and downs in your journey to success.
Use powerful, motivating words.
Yes, words are powerful. They can make or break you. They can push, derail, or pull you back to your comfort zone. Impossible, surrender, too poor, not me, vanquished, it won’t work, I can’t, not my fault, not enough time, I will try, are words and phrases that I forbid myself to say. They hold me down, keeping me from going forward. I make sure that I only talk to myself using positive, uplifting, and encouraging words. Self-talk is important to me. It is my way to prep myself up every day, motivating me to be better than yesterday. Words must strongly align with actions, so I choose my words carefully, especially when I am dealing with a setback or facing a difficult task that requires my full attention.
Walk your talk.
As I mentioned, an alignment of words and actions is essential to succeed. Walking your talk requires saying what you mean and doing what you say. Without it, disconnection happens, and you will become frustrated. All talk does not bring great results. You need to act and work passionately. Yes, it is important to be passionate and motivated in whatever you choose to do in life—whether it pertains to your job, career, advocacy, business, or hobby. Your actions give essence to your words and take you in the direction you want. Without actions, there is no success.
Focus is power. It gives you clarity and connection with your goals. Your time and effort are important factors to get what you want. It is not easy to keep the focus intact with all the distractions around you, but working through them is a vital step if you want to achieve your ultimate dreams in life. It is also important to focus on things and situations that are within your control. Accept that certain circumstances related to your personal or professional life are beyond your control. If you focus on them, you will feel anxious, unmotivated, unproductive, or unhappy. Instead of giving them the power to hold you back, focus on things that you do best. If the circumstances create changes in the pattern of your life, accept them with an open mindset, and find ways to use them to your advantage. Most of the time, there are silver linings behind the struggles and pains.
Not taking responsibility is a deal breaker, making the efforts and time you spent doing your tasks will bring you closer to your goals. When you take charge, you are setting your intentions into actions. You become more responsible for every action you make and when things go wrong, you take accountability. You stop blaming others for some messy things that occur in your journey towards your goals. You do not blame yourself either, but work to make things better and avoid the same mistakes that derail you from the path of success. If in the past, you have the habit of questioning yourself when obstacles or doubts arise; now you keep your cool and try other approaches to get what you want. You do not allow your inner critic to steal your power. You do not allow other people to use you for their interests and claim back your power or control over your destiny. Never allow anyone to determine your fate. Know everything along the way, but do not give your power over yourself to others.
Be committed to success.
Success is the sweet fruit of your actions and intentions, never forget to celebrate the small wins and major breakthroughs. You deserve recognition, especially coming from yourself. You need to celebrate every milestone because it pushes you to the next one and helps you plan your next move.
Success is not easy, but it is there for people who are ready to embrace the qualities of success. No one can hand over success on a silver platter. You need to work with passion, commitment, focus, and intention to achieve it. You need to get out of the comfort zone to become the person who wants to be in the next three years, five years, or ten years. Are you all set to follow your destiny and influence the course of your life? Go forth then, your will to succeed is all it takes to keep you moving forward and upward.