How You Can Control Your Emotions For A Better You


Emotions are part of human nature. They are the manifestations of our reactions and feelings about something. Emotions provide information about what we are experiencing at the moment. They help others understand and choose how to react to our inner turmoil.

I often get comments that I am an emotional person, tell me something I don’t already know. Emotional people are viewed as difficult, unruly, rule breakers, lonely, edgy, and looking for trouble. Driven individuals often get tagged with these adjectives.

This voice showed an emotion so new and so deep that the jaded soul of the Master of Requests was shaken — Honoré de Balzac

I have no excuses … yes to all of these and more.

But here are few things you need to understand about emotions:

  • There is no bad or good emotion, only a bad or good way to express it.
  • Emotions come and go. We feel a lot of emotions as the day goes by. Some of them last only for a few moments, while other emotions linger and become a mood.
  • The intensity of emotions depends on the situation we face or the person who triggers us.
  • Emotions are used by others to fuel their unfounded perception of you.

Are you an emotional person?

Society loves to have labels on everyone, it’s supposedly better to identify us all and better deal with us unruly kind. It’s the only way to try to box us up, to put us in a cage, to categorize us, for the comfort of everyone else.

But being emotional is not a bad thing. It means that I am human. I am allowed to be happy, sad, exhilarated, irritated, or angry. Emotions are part of being our authentic self, who we are as a person. An emotional person is someone who demonstrates strong states of feelings or passionate about something.

Emotional people are usually sensitive ones. We are easily triggered by little things that spark positive or negative reactions. We view things a bit differently and deeper. Moreover, we use our emotions to push us forward and follow our dreams.

If you are feeling extra sensitive over something, it is because your emotions are running high. Some people are also more sensitive and process the world around them more deeply. Pretending that you do not feel anything and avoiding negative emotions is unhealthy.

Suppressing our emotions for the good of others or to conform, is another way of giving in to the status quo and conformity. Emotions are healthy as long as they don’t run away out of our control.

Understanding Emotions

Emotions are the fuel for a successful and driven person. Some wear their emotions on the surface without shame, others have them inside. Nevertheless, they manifest themselves. Emotions trigger a chemical reaction that alerts you that something is incorrect, maybe there is a better way, or you have reached your target.

Being emotional is not synonymous with being a drama queen or king. Yes, sometimes you act emotionally before thinking logically. It is also a fact that some people process emotions and events differently.

Emotions’ best friend is reason. They must coexist for a healthy life. Emotions are the fuel and reason is steering the car. Yes, occasionally high-octane fuel (emotions) gets into the gas tank. As long as reason has two hands on the steering wheel, everything will be fine.

Emotions are healthy as long as they don’t run away out of your control. Unless your emotions interfere with your day-to-day life, you are okay. This is why it is important to figure out how to use your emotions to face and overcome situations.

Managing your emotions and making them work for you are beneficial. Unlocking and discovering the deeper meaning will make us more emotionally intelligent.

What triggers emotions?

Life-changing events

Major changes and big events trigger stress and can cause nerve-breaking emotions. Any shakeup to your normal routine affects your emotional health or well-being.

These can include

  • marriage
  • divorce
  • having a baby
  • moving to a new location or home
  • job loss
  • getting a new job


Stress makes a lot of people feel more emotional. If you are experiencing chronic stress, it is possible that your emotions are constantly running over the top.

Anxiety and Depression

When you are anxious, emotions like fear, irritability, doubt, and apprehension are extremely heightened. Your body tends to go into a fight-or-flight mode. If your anxiety is beginning to disrupt your normal daily life, it is a sign that you are experiencing anxiety disorder and manifesting extreme emotions.

Depression, on the other hand, is defined as a mood disorder. Depressed people experience a higher or deeper level of hopelessness, emptiness, and other negative emotions.

Common reasons

Feeling extra emotional sometimes are caused by sleep deprivation, diet and lack of exercise.

  • Sleep deprivation—lack of sleep affects your emotional well-being by triggering a lack of rational thinking and concentrating.
  • Lack of exercise-physical activities influences your emotions and mood.
  • Diet—unhealthy diet increases your level of distress and stress
  • Build emotional awareness. Make it a daily habit to tune in to what you feel in various situations. Notice how you feel about someone or something. Mentally name the emotion you feel. Observe how your emotions change throughout the day. Do not dwell on every emotion you feel.

Effective ways to handle your emotions

It’s true that sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge or accept what we feel. For instance, when we are jealous, hurt, or angry, we try not to show or talk about it to avoid unpleasant arguments. However, burying the emotion inside can backfire and affect our emotional health.

What to do?

  • Put your feelings into words. Share and talk about it with people close to you—parent, best friends, loved one, or coach.
  • Give yourself time to calm down before reacting—This gives you time to process your strong emotion at the moment. If you are really angry or stressed out, walking away for a minute will help you clear your overwhelmed mind.
  • Accept what you are feeling right now—Instead of wasting your energy blaming yourself or others, accept the emotion, and choose the best way to react.
  • Do not stay stuck in your current emotion—Understand that you can change how you think, feel, behave, and react.
  • Choose to do something that makes you feel better—Get out of your bad mood. Find meaningful ways to displace your emotions.
  • Deal with uncomfortable situations and emotions—Learning to handle them builds your confidence and inner strength.
  • Claim your power over your emotions—Do not allow others to influence what you feel. They may or may not intentionally influence your feelings, but you are the only person who is in charge of them.
  • Stop apologizing for being emotional—Instead, use your sensitivity and being emotional for becoming more passionate about your goals and connected to other people.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are because of comments from others regarding your emotions. We all have emotions, whether we try to suppress them or, accepting them as fuel, we all have them. The choice isn’t difficult. If you are driven, you’re already using your emotions in a positive and fulfilling way. If you are not, then the choice is yours and no one else. Don’t let your peers or society choose for you!