Success is synonymous with progress, growth, and achievement. You worked very hard to reach your life goals and dreams. Now that it is here, you expect people to celebrate with you and let you enjoy the fruits of your success with a smile. However, some people begin to hate and criticize you. It becomes more frustrating when those you consider as friends or allies join your circle of haters. What is their problem? What have you done to deserve their animosity?
What do experts say?
According to social scientists and psychologists, haters are individuals who think and believe that they know the path to success but fail to get there. So, when they see someone close to them getting the limelight and achieving their goals, they begin to display resentment and jealousy. Intentionally or not, they start the hate campaign by questioning our personal choices and decisions.
It doesn’t matter if you are on the Forbes list or a newly promoted head department; there will always be someone who will judge you or be unhappy when you attain success. Whether it is a small feat or a life-changing achievement, haters are ready to throw stones at you, waiting for the right moment to strike and see you fall. They will always find a reason or two to project their negativity, fears, and insecurities toward you.
Critics and haters have acquired the habit of throwing negative remarks. They would always dissect your ideas, acts, and feelings. Their purpose is to make you doubt yourself, scare you about reaching your highest potential, and stop you from fulfilling your dreams. Your greatest challenge, therefore, is how to deal with these people and prevent criticisms from keeping you in the status quo.
When we achieve success, we suddenly become the target of critics, haters, and people who are jealous of our accomplishments. Whether our achievement is big or small, there is always someone trying to bring us down by criticizing and ridicule. At the workplace or in our personal lives, this is a pattern that will always be present. No matter how successful you become, there will always be someone trying to bring you down to their level. No one likes to see someone else look better than them, have more success, be happier, or just have a better life.
Reasons why haters hate you
You may find it a bit strange and amusing, but people hate or criticize you because you found a new and better identity, making you more empowered and authoritative.
You attract haters and criticisms because:
- You think outside of the box. You offer creative and unconventional solutions. Most people feel uncomfortable with change or do not want to get out of their comfort zones.
- You are a risk taker. You’re strong, fierce, bold, and relentless. You project yourself as a pioneering spirit, someone who is willing to go after the life you deserve.
- Your life is more interesting. You are the shining reflection of what haters wish to be. They fail to attain what you have achieved, so they hate you for pointing out their deficiencies and weaknesses.
- You are admired, respected, and loved. By proving your worth and attaining things that critics never thought possible, you catch their interest. You pay the price of popularity and success, becoming the target of prying eyes and jealous individuals who want to tear your self-esteem and reputation apart. For them, by attacking the people who do it right means gaining a share of attention.
- You are not afraid to stand up for something. You have found your niche, empowering yourself, and sharing your talents or skills with the world. It makes you happier and more confident.
Ways to handle criticisms and haters
- Use them to fuel your growth. Success provokes different reactions from people around you. Some are happy and celebrate your victory. Others become envious, insecure, angry, jealous, and afraid. The good news is, what they display is not because you have done something wrong. It has something to do with how they feel about your move toward success.
- Use them to justify your desires, actions, and thoughts. Studies revealed that hatred activates the frontal cortex of our brain. This section is associated with predicting behaviour and evaluating people. While it tends to trigger an irrational mindset where facts and reality do not matter, hatred encourages you to stick to acceptable narrative and your own beliefs. Do not conform to perceived beliefs and judgment, think independently, and be proud of what you have accomplished.
- Use them to inspire and motivate you. Even if you are receiving a regular barrage of criticisms and hate campaigns, stay calm and rational. Accept the fact that it is impossible to please everybody. Worrying about the opinions of others will only make you uncertain of your steps. Focus your attention on what matters and use criticisms as a challenge to push you forward. Use them to explore and find cutting edge solutions that will bring you more success.
- Use them as mentors. The best teachers are those who make you come out of your safe zone. Criticisms and haters serve their purpose by making you more determined to prove them wrong. You become more passionate, more dedicated, and wiser as you continue your life journey. They also teach you to be more accepting of other people, developing a deeper sense of empathy.
- Use them to harness your unique talents. When you are under attack, love yourself more and use your abilities to advance your personal and professional life. Haters and criticisms are signs that you already achieved something great. When people start hating you for what you are doing, use the sign as a validation that you are on your way to the top. No one pays attention or interest to losers.
- Use them to evaluate yourself. Understand that not all criticisms are rooted in envy or jealousy. Sometimes, they are also well founded and can give you a better life perspective. It is important to discern constructive criticisms and utilize them as a jumping board to become a better person.
- Use them to teach you how to deal with anger and conflict. The initial reaction to negative criticisms of haters is anger. It also triggers emotional and relationship conflicts. Instead of fighting back and saying something that will fuel the negativity, manage your anger, and stay composed during stress-provoking moments. If someone is lashing out on social media, take the high road and learn to ignore them. The best revenge is proving them wrong.
- Use them to become humble. As you move toward your ultimate goals, there will always be uncomfortable situations that will trigger your haters to tear you down. You can either fight back or continue to do the right thing. Trust your instincts. Set your own standards and do not brag about your accomplishments. When you need to speak out and disprove their points, do it in a respectful and humble manner. If you choose to respond, surprise them with kindness, and you will gain more allies.
At the end of the day, the person you need to please is yourself. Never mind the naysayers, they are there for a reason. Be proud of what you have accomplished in your life. Haters and criticisms are just reminders that you did something worth celebrating, but there are a lot of things to accomplish, and only you can do them for yourself. Take advantage of the lessons they bring into the open. Do not validate your life according to what people say, whether good or bad. The best feeling happens when you know that you have contributed something good to the world and ready to do more. Choose what you believe is right for you.